Do you recall the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears?  To help refresh your memory, Goldilocks was a little girl who wandered into the home of a bear family one afternoon while they were out enjoying a walk in the woods.  The exhausted Goldilocks decided she needed to rest and relax for a while, and spent a good amount of time trying out the bears’ household items.  As the story unfolds, Goldilocks tries out chairs, spoons, bowls, and beds that are either too big (Papa Bear’s items), too little (Baby Bear’s items), or “just right” (Mama Bear’s things). It turns out that this story is relevant to more than little girls wandering through the woods!

James Clear, behavioral psychologist and author of the book Atomic Habits, explains that people are most likely to succeed at tasks that are “just manageable challenges”. These tasks are not too big, not too little, but rather “just right”for the person’s current skill and ability levels.  In fact, people are more successful when they work on achieving just 4% more at a time! Check out think link to learn more about The Goldilocks Rule.

So, what does this mean for how we work with young people? It means helping them figure out what level they can comfortably perform a skill and advising them on how to break things down into bite-sized pieces that stretch them just a bit. For example, this might mean helping a young person understand that if they can make 50 free throws today, they should shoot for 52 tomorrow. It could mean helping them set the goal of adding just ten new measures of a challenging piano sonata to their practice routine each day instead of trying to perfect the entire song in one setting. Remember, people of all ages lose motivation and are tempted to quit when things are too easy or too hard. To stay motivated, the challenge needs to be “just right” (just like Mama Bear’s chair).